How I Spent My Summer

Summer's not quite over. A week at the beach awaits us soon. Still...

In North Carolina, the homeschool year runs from July1 to the next June 30. I came to the realization that we're probably a year round school because I still work full time and thus, our actual school day is shortened. This shortfall can best be made up with more days of shorter duration. Zeke and I worked very hard to get 'caught up' in History/Geography, Writing and Grammar. It took a long time, but I believe we finally have a curriculum that works on most all the subjects for Zeke. I was strongly influenced by the neo-classical approach described in "The Well-Trained Mind," and adopted several of the authors' suggestions. I was also influenced by many of my fellow homeschool moms from the co-op who are taking a similar approach with their students. Finally, I'm reading "A Mother's Rule of Life" which incorporates Catholic monastic ideals and superimposes them on a Catholic homeschool mother's day. And here, I thought homeschooling was just teaching your own kids at home. Who knew it required a total commitment on my part and religious zeal!

Today, after Mass, our family fun outing will be a picnic with the co-op families at church. Our little co-op of 5 families is expanding to 9 families and this will be a chance to meet and greet all the spouses and kids. I feel excited, but at peace.

Superstitious Silence

I've been tweeting up a storm and this little piece of cyberspace has gotten a little quiet. There are things to report but they all seem so mundane and unexceptional. Part of the reason I even began this blog was to mark the mundane for my children. There were moments of high drama and sadness and a commemoration of the NICU battlefield. But we're just being lately.

We are doing this thing called Catholic homeschooling and I don't say much about it because we're still doing it. I cannot report a finished product or great fruit because I'm still planting, pruning and praying. I don't want to 'jinx' it. It's humbling and satisfying. It torments me and uplifts me. It calls me to be so much more than I expected. It is a cross I took on before I knew I would need some kind Veronica to wipe my face and some conscripted Simon to help me carry it.

One new thing we took on in January is a homeschool cooperative. It meets on Mondays and is a place for several Catholic homeschooling families to gather to create for our kids an opportunity to be among other seriously weird and radically square kids...kids who call me 'Mrs. Adams' and 'Ma'am,' kids who are still innocent, kids who are just kids who happen to be Catholic. Academically, they took on some subjects that are more fun in a group: Science, Geography and Latin. We pray a Rosary at the beginning of the school morning and pause at lunch for The Angelus. We play and pray and it is good.

And the journey continues.

Mild-Mannered Radicals

Day 2 of the Homeschool convention. I was among a large crowd and spoke to only a few. I heard a really excellent presentation this morning about the developmental phases of a child's cognition and adolescents, too. The speaker is a mother who homeschooled all 4 of her kids [2 boys, 2 girls] and is now doing graduate work on child psychology. She provided lots of data, but had a funny, engaging style which I thoroughly enjoyed. The other talk I heard was about the socialization advantages of homeschooling. I felt a little sorry for the woman who spoke well but never came out from behind the lecturn which was on the floor. After a brief trip to the vendor's confab where I bought this huge book/chart/timeline, I left for the day. I may or may not go back tomorrow for my third helping.

I observed many hundreds of people in the two days. They mostly appeared clean-cut and modestly dressed. The youth were also clean cut, neat and modest. All were exceedingly polite. And yet. . . the whole enterprise--schooling your own children--is radical, given the current standards of society. The reasons why people homeschool would be unique to each family, and perhaps to each child and their educational needs. The message I gleaned was that there's no 'right way' to do this. I know my child well enough to do this and what we are setting out to do is possible if only I stop trying to bring their/my version of 'school' into the 'home' and go ahead and homeschool.

Pioneers, Settlers and Tourists

I went to Day 1 of the North Carolinians for Home Education annual meeting. It's their 24th, but my first. My second lecturer was a father of 8 who has homeschooled for 24 years so far. His oldest three all have college degrees, two have Master's. His youngest is 5. He was instructing us on the general requirements for compliance with the North Carolina law. States generally fall into two categories: petition states and notification states. North Carolina is a notification state. You simply inform the state that you're homeschooling and comply with very minimal reporting requirements and that's about it. The state doesn't get a vote in it.

As he's been at it for a while, he talked about the three types of homeschooling families. The first type were the pioneers. They are the families that went their own way into the wilderness of home education 20 or more years ago, blazing a trail. Then came the settlers. They followed some of the well-worn paths, set up outposts and improved the communication among the other settlers. Then came the tourists. These are the folks who are homeschooling for a lark, for a change of pace, until they get over being mad at the public school or for some other insubstantial reason. He said that the tourists are what gives real homeschoolers a bad name.

I went alone today and learned a few things and observed a lot and will return tomorrow for some more. I haven't figured out whether I'm a settler or a tourist just yet.

Restoration

As is my usual with Mondays, I try to accomplish a week's worth in a day. Zeke and I had a couple major things to do in school. The first thing he needed to do was write a thank you note to a relative for some Christmas presents. This teaches gratitude and grammar. He has not wanted to do it for a few days and so I suspended his computer privileges until the note was written. No recriminations or judgment involved; just patience. Today his resistance waned and he wrote the note from dictation.

Then we tackled a couple math lessons. We're tracking about mid-December. I looked at how luxuriously long January is and believed that we have some hope for getting caught up to the syllabus by month's end. He has a strong will and internal desire tending toward perfectionism [gee? where'd he get that?] and we often butt heads. I'm finding this teaching thing to be a learning experience for me as well and a source of great joy and pride in what he's accomplishing.

Seasonal Shot in the Arm

Tonight we had our monthly Cheerful Givers gathering. I love this group. Almost all of us are homeschool moms, or have been. It is such a blessing to compare notes and realize that while the homeschool journey is lived in each family, we are not in this all alone. The same doubts, uncertainties and insecurities that I voice have been felt by the others. Most of the time, we're involved with our children and doing the work of homeschooling. Every now and then, it's good to stand up and see who's hoeing the next row. We don't always get to see our choices validated because it is such a personal, familial undertaking. These gatherings are a much-needed encouragement for me.

Princess Central

Royal madness seems to have gripped the household. Last week, I showed the children Walt Disney's "Sleeping Beauty" for the first time. It is in video format, as I bought it almost 15 years ago. They thoroughly enjoyed it and have watched it a few times since then. One of the previews showed "Cinderella," which Dave brought home on DVD this week. [I have that on video as well].

One of Zeke's assigned books this year is "The Complete Fairy Tales of Charles Perrault," which was the source material for Disney's Sleeping Beauty [that, and the ballet by Tchaikovsky, which also relied on Perrault's version]. So he gets to see the movie and hear the story and compare and contrast both versions. The children also get to see classic good vs. evil stories, the triumph of virtue, and happily-ever-afters. I can't deny that this part is fun for me, too.

Homeschool Wishlist

I realize we're new to the homeschooling scene, but this article, "The Bitter Homeschooler's Wish List," by Deborah Markus, from the first edition of "Secular Homeschooling Magazine" is so true it's funny. I laughed at:

2 Learn what the words "socialize" and "socialization" mean, and use the one you really mean instead of mixing them up the way you do now. Socializing means hanging out with other people for fun. Socialization means having acquired the skills necessary to do so successfully and pleasantly. If you're talking to me and my kids, that means that we do in fact go outside now and then to visit the other human beings on the planet, and you can safely assume that we've got a decent grasp of both concepts.

and:

12 If my kid's only six and you ask me with a straight face how I can possibly teach him what he'd learn in school, please understand that you're calling me an idiot. Don't act shocked if I decide to respond in kind.

and:

19 Stop asking about how hard it must be to be my child's teacher as well as her parent. I don't see much difference between bossing my kid around academically and bossing him around the way I do about everything else.

The list has 22 other funny points. Hat tip to Wittingshire, with thanks for the link.

Mathematical Genius

If you take as a definition of genius "the ability to see things in a way that others do not," then my son Zeke might just qualify.

Yesterday, he was doing his story problems. The worksheet directed him to draw a picture of what happened when Shawn put 5 glasses on the table and his father put two more. Zeke's drawing skills are developing, but I couldn't make out what he was drawing, yet remained silent. Jubilantly, he said "Seven" and then I noticed he had drawn eyeglasses. All along, I was envisioning drinking glasses.

Today, he was practicing his doubles [1+1, 2+2, 3+3, etc.] and he got stuck on the doubles past 5. He was frustrated and on the brink of tears. I told him, "Honey, this is just straight memorization." He wailed back, "No, Mama! I can't do it! This is wiggeldy memorization!"

After I regained my composure, we continued the lesson.

Back in Session

School resumed today and Zeke had a good time with his math. I'm pleased at getting back in the groove and how well the girls do while we're 'in class.' We all need these nice days to keep the faith on the homeschooling thing. I'm realizing that I can't do everything, but what I can do, I must do, and that is enough.

Every Minute Accounted For

Now that school is underway, I've had the feeling that every moment of my waking life is accounted for and I have a duty to be on task. Zeke's a pretty bright kid and he's making good progress. I've had to give up any computer time for me at home in the morning until schoolwork is finished. Not surprisingly, this little discipline gives me a lot of motivation to get started on the books. Similarly, Zeke gets no computer until he's satisfactorily finished his day's lessons. But I do have a job that pulls me away from home, and so I have to get ready and "put on my face" in time to punch that clock. After work, I've been hitting the gym a couple nights a week. Then home to help put the kids to bed. If I sneak in my blogging time, I could well cut into my sleep time. That's devastating, considering that it's the only time I might meet David in a day. And I do love my blogging time...

But I love my man more.

Here's the deal: busy people are busy by choice. None of this routine is onerous at all. It's all good. But it is nice to have unaccounted for down time. I guess I'll just have to schedule that.

Chippin' Away

Zeke had another good day of school. He took on 3 new letters and tested well on them plus the previous 10 he's learned. He's half-way home to a full writing knowledge of all 26 letters. He also read two books to me and happily earned his computer time.

What I'm noticing is that our "language of instruction" is becoming second nature. This is the language that tells him where to place his pencil [2 on the clock just below the middle dotted line], what direction to write [in the direction in which we read and write], how much space to leave between the letters [comfortably close to the left margin line], and more. His posture, with regular reminders, is good and his pencil-holding is much more confident. This methodology is very challenging, but he does well with praise. He likes to be tested much more than he likes to practice. In many respects, the tests become his practice.

I'm holding back on the other subjects for the time being. Readin' and 'Ritin' are sufficient. 'Rithmatic can wait a little longer. [Religion, however, is now part of the Friday morning class.]

Back to School

I remember watching the old super-8 film of my first day of school. My oldest sister's friend wore a buzz-cut hairdo, horn-rimmed glasses and a Nehru jacket and mugged for the camera while I skipped down the sidewalk in a pink jumper, white peter pan-collared blouse, cardigan sweater, sporting a pixie haircut and saddle shoes. I arrived at a yet-under-construction school [thanks, Boomers!] named after a President to see the big-to-my-size kindergarten classroom. I met my teacher, Miss Benucci, who was a young and lovely woman, dressed fashionably in a mini-dress and teased hair. I loved her. I loved school. I couldn't wait to go there.

It is bittersweet that my son won't have these little memories, perfectly preserved in fading brittle film.

We resumed schoolwork this morning and he had a chance to learn a couple more letters, read me a couple books and earn his computer time. I've learned that I can actually get stuff done if I get myself showered and dressed first and not turn on my computer until the schoolwork is done. We're getting into the groove, he's doing well and I'm proud of him. But I'm not teasing my hair.

Give Me an "A"

Zeke learned, practiced and mastered a couple letters today and we had a really good session. I promised him no computer for either of us until it was done. Amazing what can be accomplished when we're both working toward a reward.

There's Fruit on the Tree

Tonight, Dave and Mom and I went to a graduation Mass for a homeschooler in our area. It was followed by a lovely reception in his parents' home. Later this month, he's off to the University of North Carolina.

I first met the graduate years ago when he began homeschooling in 4th grade. His mother would bring the four of them [now there are eight!] to Daily Mass as part of their school curriculum, and he and his older brother [also a Tar Heel] would be altar servers. They were polite, handsome, smart, athletic, and musical, but most of all, holy.

Just like when St. Peter gave his Pentecost sermon and people were asking [begging!] him, "what must we do to become Christians?" the life that I saw in this family was such a powerful witness, I asked them, "what is this homeschooling thing? Why are your kids so holy?" By their daily example, I began to see what is possible. We often say "we're not homeschooling so they get into Harvard*, but so they get into Heaven." It is powerful to see these kids grow up in a loving, disciplined family, with academic gifts being placed in God's service. I wish this young graduate only the best and in many ways am grateful to the witness he provided for me when he was just a little boy.



*Not that there's anything wrong with that. Even better: a great school with in-state tuition!

It's the Principal of the Thing

I had a little challenge today with my student. In a fit of frustration, he pretty much shut down on the writing lesson. After some difficult moments, I suggested we talk to the school principal.

"Principal?! What's that?"

"No, Honey. Who's that. You're the student; I'm the teacher; Daddy's the Principal. He's in charge of the home school. I think we need to talk to him."

A few moments later, after a brief three-way phone conversation, my frustrated student was ready to resume his lessons.

I love homeschooling, or at least the principal of the thing.

Gerbil Wheels

Lately I've had the feeling that I'm running on a big gerbil wheel. There's lots of motion [perpetual], but seemingly no progress. The life of a mom is often interior. There's a voice in my head that judges what I do or don't accomplish every morning.

Today, for instance, I had high hopes of doing some language arts with the boy and also getting some PT for Annie and a book for Joey. Add to that a load or two of laundry, picking up and making a meal for the tribe. When the boy calmly announces, "Mama, I think I have a bloody nose," and he does, all activity ceases. Even when the almost-four-year-old is screaming I want to do it myself as she thrashes on the ground with today's outfit, unmoved at her brother's plight. It's just one of those days. There's nothing glamorous about it. Sometimes it's an effort-laden grind. Often I lose sight of the goal. Why do we homeschool? So they'll get into Heaven, not Harvard [NTTAWWT*]. Remember the big purpose. Those little grinding wheels won't wear me out, they'll build me up. We're in this cage together.

*Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Auspicious Beginnings

Today Zeke began his formal language arts class. The principle of the method we're using is to take a fluent speaker [a 5 year old has a vocabulary of approximately 7-21 thousand words] and help them become fluent writers from oral dictation. The whole alphabet can be written when one knows 7 different letter strokes. We worked on two of them today, the small circle [think lower case 'o'] and the short line [think lower case 'i']. The remaining 5 strokes must be mastered before we go to letter formation. Zeke did a great job with posture, pencil grip, and spacing between letters. The circles are instructed using numbers on the clock [with only 2,4,8, and 10 being depicted] as reference points, the base line, the middle dotted line and the top base line. Small circles are made starting at 2 on the clock, going to 10, 8, resting on the base line, then up to 4 and 2. When you're training the muscle memory, it's important to be consistent and hit all the guidepoints. I was quite pleased at his first attempt. I felt frustrated at myself for not being better able to hold his attention and keep his wriggling to a minimum. But all those are learned skills as well, and I think we made a good start. This method is very time-intensive at the beginning, but should allow for more flexibility once he has all his letters properly and consistently formed.

Mayhem reigned with the girls in the other rooms. Aah. One of the joys of homeschooling.

Satisfaction

Zeke and I completed a major task tonight. We finished up lesson #112 of Saxon Math level K. It is, indeed, the last lesson. We began mid-September and averaged about 12 lessons/month. Somehow, in February, I completely missed all lessons and have been playing catch-up ever since. There's a big whew!!! feeling pulsing through me. I am so proud of the little student. He's so much fun to be with when he thinks a new thought or learns a new skill. It's like the whole world unfolding for me through his eyes.

The next task we'll start soon: language arts with the Riggs Institute's 'The Writing and Spelling Road to Reading and Thinking.' It is rigorous, traditional, neurologically-based and Socratic. This method is quite effective in engaging the whole child at once: they hear, write, say and see each letter, each phoneme/grapheme. I have already used the phonemes to teach him basic reading. I now have to support that with the writing skill. To be fluent in any language, one must also be able to write it. It took me a long time to even get through the first 100 pages of the teacher's guide. I am excited and hopeful and a little nervous. But mostly excited.

Draggin'

I had a great time last night, getting back on the horse that threw me, with the cheerful givers group. Per usual, I stayed up talking way too late with one of my friends and her college sophomore son. [He's one I've known since he was in 6th grade. God's grace and good parenting is abundantly obvious with him. He's grown into a fabulous, bright and handsome young man.] It's a little monthly sacrifice I make which allows me an evening with "the girls" who also happen to be homeschooling moms. It's sort of the teacher's lounge for us and I learn so much while we're gathering for fellowship and charitable works.

It's worth a little Thursday drag for that.