Gerbil Wheels

Lately I've had the feeling that I'm running on a big gerbil wheel. There's lots of motion [perpetual], but seemingly no progress. The life of a mom is often interior. There's a voice in my head that judges what I do or don't accomplish every morning.

Today, for instance, I had high hopes of doing some language arts with the boy and also getting some PT for Annie and a book for Joey. Add to that a load or two of laundry, picking up and making a meal for the tribe. When the boy calmly announces, "Mama, I think I have a bloody nose," and he does, all activity ceases. Even when the almost-four-year-old is screaming I want to do it myself as she thrashes on the ground with today's outfit, unmoved at her brother's plight. It's just one of those days. There's nothing glamorous about it. Sometimes it's an effort-laden grind. Often I lose sight of the goal. Why do we homeschool? So they'll get into Heaven, not Harvard [NTTAWWT*]. Remember the big purpose. Those little grinding wheels won't wear me out, they'll build me up. We're in this cage together.

*Not that there's anything wrong with that.