NICU Wall Art

A while ago, I allowed my girls to be photographed for an art project at their old NICU. This weekend, their nurse posted her pictures of the finished prints and her musings on the wall of fame that now graces her workplace.

Thanks, Sara. You are an amazing nurse and you have enriched our lives by being so good at what you do.

Proofs

[Photos by Sally Gupton, all rights reserved.]

The girls were asked to be photographed for an art display at the NICU. Photos of some graduates will be displayed on the walls as a sign of hope for the families who are currently in the NICU. I thought that sounded like a great idea. The photographer is Sally Gupton and I think she did an excellent job. Click on the photo to embiggen it.

NICU Journal - October 20, 2003

Note: This is the continuation of a chronicle of the girls' NICU journey which began at their birth at 26 weeks gestation on August 31, 2003. They are alive and well today.

On October 20, 2003, I sent out the following email to family and friends:

Here's an update on the girls who are 7 weeks old today.

Annie is continuing to improve since her two surgeries this week. She moved to the nasal cannula yesterday and so far, so good. She is coming off many of her meds--blood pressure and pain--and her regular labs are looking pretty good most of the time. She's tolerating her milk and is up to 1 cc every 3 hours. As she tolerates that each time, they'll try to jump her up more quickly. She's still a little yellow from jaundice, but is looking better. That should go away as her intestines come on line and clear out her system. We're waiting for the plastic surgery folks to take another look at the leg. She shows some signs of pain when the nurses change the dressing.

Mary Jo is continuing to do her ESP [eat, sleep, poop] program and is taking bottles a few times a day with almost an ounce of milk each time. Both girls are now just a hair over 3 pounds in weight. Now that I can see their faces, I am realizing that they ARE identical. Today, I had the joy of holding Annie for the first time and Dave held Mary Jo. I'm attaching a photo of them. Mary Jo is the pink one and Annie is the pale yellow one on the right. Thanks for your continued prayers, good wishes, sacrifices and interest. God is good. Love-- Ruth Anne :)

What was happening: It was our 13th Wedding Anniversary and I got to "hold" Annie [all wrapped in bunting and still connected to many wires, IVs and probes] for the first time in her life. What a wonderful anniversary present. For a little perspective, know that one fluid ounce is about 30 ml; so Annie was getting 8 ccs a day or about a third of an ounce every day. She has since overcome that limitation.

NICU Journal - September 29, 2003

These are the photos that accompanied the prayer request sent out on September 29, 2003. Dave holding Mary Jo and me hovering around Annie. Her left foot is intact and all the toes are there [it appears red because of the pulse/oximeter attached to it]. I believe this is the last photo we have of her left foot with toes.

NICU Journal - September 3, 2003

The highlight of this day is my first chance to hold Mary Jo. It takes some doing, what with working around my incisions and all the life-supporting equipment on Mary Jo. But I get to finally hold Mary Jo and she is comfortable and stable for the 30 minutes that I get. The rest of the time, I'm pumping breast milk for the girls. The lactation consultant, Mary, will become my great coach over the next several months. She tells me to "become friends with the pump" because making milk is the one thing that only I can do for the girls. Every time I begin pumping, I say a prayer to Our Lady of La Leche, "Dear Immaculate Mother, Our Lady of La Leche, please intercede for me that my milk may be abundant, nourishing and sufficient. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen." That prayer was answered with a freezer full of 4 ounce frozen bottles and over 32 ounces per day for the many many weeks before the girls' sucking reflex even came online.

In those days while I was still hospitalized, Dave and I met with social workers who wanted to tell us what we'd qualify for if we needed government aid; researching doctors who wanted the girls to join their clinical studies [we did enroll both girls in two studies]; and lactation consultants. And the greatest of these is lactation consultants.

NICU Journal - September 1, 2003 Late Afternoon

A weary day for me, post-op, and further wearied by the streams of people who came to visit. Zeke was safe at Aunt Terri's and I had no further worry of him. Two Catholic mom friends came to visit and see the girls. This entailed Dave taking them to the NICU down the hall, taking them through the scub room, washing well, and being buzzed into the unit by the staff. After their visit to the girls, they returned to my room. A. was on the edge of tears. She looked at me with one of those penetrating stares and said, "You are having them baptized, right?" It was almost not a question. I fluffed off something like, "Dr. M. didn't think they had to be baptized last night and I hadn't thought much more of it." She took my hand in hers, looked deeply into my eyes with tears welling in hers and said, "Please. Have them baptized."

After they left, I called Father Jude, who was "off" because of Labor Day. He assured me that I could have them baptized now and still have a full Mass with all the other rites at a later time. When he arrived at the NICU and after washing up and being buzzed in, he asked for a small bowl of warm water and an eye dropper. They didn't have one of those. I suggested a nasal suction bulb. They gave him a tiny blue one. He baptized my girls.

NICU Journal - September 1, 2003 Early Morning Around Midnight

Still groggy from my emergency C-Section, I begged to see the girls. I remember trying to shake off the remnants of the anesthesia and try to be clear-headed. Some kind nurse explained that the girls were on ventilators and had many probes on them and not to be distressed by that. I was still on a moveable bed and they gave me pillows to hold on my abdomen while they wheeled me down a long hall, into an elevator and into the back door of the NICU at Forsyth hospital. I couldn't really see from my lying position and summoned what I had to sit up and see the girls. I remember this seemed to surprise some people, but you know those stories about mothers lifting VWs off their babies....I no longer doubt them. Dave was with me.

We met Dr. Block, a neonatologist with many years experience who hailed from South Africa. Through the post-surgical haze, my best cocktail party banter came out. "I detect an accent. Where are you from?" "Oh, really? Where in South Africa?" "My sister-in-law worked there, but she's originally from Durban. She and her friends call themselves the 'suburban Durban Tarts.'" Chuckle from the doctor. [points for making the attending chuckle]. He informed us that the NICU is a long, emotional roller-coaster ride. I said something like, "Oh. I love roller coasters." Then, still in the haze, I went into my cross-examination mode, with a little bit of Mary Kay sugar. I comfortably threw around enough scientific jargon that he asked, "Madam, what is your background?" "Law. And Mary Kay cosmetics." Another chuckle.

When you see your child as a newborn, they don't come close to the cover models on Parents magazine. When you see your newborn as a micro-preemie, there's a part of you that whispers "are they even human?" The answer, resoundingly, is YES! But their tinyness, and their neediness and their peculiar color and shape make you doubt it for a moment. I was cautioned not to touch them as I would a term baby. They were nothing but nerve endings and any touch can cause them distress. I held David's hand, gazed at my girls, cried, prayed and thanked God that they were alive.

I fell into an exhausted sleep. And Dave was with me.

Annie's Going Under

If you're a regular visitor to this blog....let me tell you right now that this is Mary (Ruth Anne's sister) posting today's entry.....As you know, Ruth Anne, is in Baltimore with Annie undergoing her knee fixation surgery today (as opposed to an oral fixation? lol) and doesn't have great internet access. She reminds me of an addict with severe withdrawal symptoms......Note to David: please get Ruthie a laptop for Mother's Day or something....then the blogging may continue without the severe withdrawal symptoms and this sister can get some sleep.

I was aroused at 7:30 AM central by Ruth Anne's call (I needed to get up anyhow) informing me that Annie just went into surgery....Ruthie had a strong front, but as a mother I know she was scared. I asked her how she was doing and she said, "Fine." I knew better...I said "How are you REALLY doing?" and she said, truthfully, "Scared!" Well....who wouldn't be...you send your daughter into a 2 -6 hour surgery and you're in the hospital waiting by yourself with the rest of your support system miles away....wish I could have been there....

But, you see, I know my sister and we both learned from our mother that you show no fear in the face of adversity....and thankfully, Ruth Anne was able to scrub up and be with Annie until they gave her enough gas to relax her prior to having her IV put in ....and show no fear...for Annie's sake....What a great mom Ruthie is!! She said Annie was giggling while Ruth Anne was singing the same song that she sang to her when she was in the NICU. I'm sure Annie drifted off to sleep with her last recollection a happy one...

Please keep my precious niece in your prayers....and I'll blog later as to the surgery outcome....

Thanks for tuning in....